A devotional by Nicole Domitro
“But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.” James 3:8-10 ESV
War of the Words
Growing up, I was well aware that my family was by no means “normal.” They were loud, angry, loving, compassionate, judgmental. It was like living in a constant state of emotional conflict, like being endlessly tossed by the waves. But, it was my normal.
Words were thrown about like a pebble on the water; sweet words and affirmations would continue on in a ripple effect, growing in awe inspiring spirals that you wouldn’t believe. Angry remarks plunged – to the foundations of my heart – like heavy rocks that instantly sink into a deep abyss.
It is this very ignorance to the impact that words carry and the weight of the power they hold that James is warning believers about in James 3:8-10.
It shouldn’t surprise us that James speaks so bluntly about how we are to speak if we are followers of Christ. Most scholars consent that this author James is the same James that was a half brother of Jesus. There is not much in scripture about Jesus’ childhood, but from Mark 6:3, we know Mary and Joseph had at least four other sons (James, Joses, Judas, and Simon) and an unaccounted number of daughters.
Can you imagine growing up with God, but thinking He was just your know-it-all older brother? We only know what scripture tells us, but it isn’t hard to imagine timeless sibling strife.
But all of this changes when Jesus is resurrected. 1 Corinthians 15:6-7 informs us that Jesus showed himself to the disciples and 500 others. The only person named out of the 500 was James. Can you even fancy that picture? What it must have been like to see your brother, who you grew up with, resurrected from the dead, realizing that He is, indeed, God?
We are not told what that meeting was like, but by his letter, we can only envision it was life changing.
Maybe that’s why I am always awestruck at the challenging and encouraging attitude that James exhibits through his script. His words are real, raw, and unrelenting. I love that. I need that. Because for too long I had been harmed by words, my heart broken by false promises spoken, and I ashamedly have used my own words as weapons. Just me?
The idea that no human can control their tongue is not foreign to me, and I’m willing to bet you’re in the same boat . On the contrary, reading this chapter of James often feels like a personal attack on my greatest flaws. It wasn’t until I started dating my husband that someone looked at me and told me I was wrong. There was another way to speak, another way to communicate, a better way to live.
I started to become more mindful of the magnitude of my words, and moreover how they connected with the reality of my faith. When I am soaking in scripture and fervently in prayer, when I surrender my anxiety and doubt, the fruit of that is most evident in my speech and attitude.
James doesn’t leave us to wither in pity over our contradictory words and actions, instead, he encourages us in wisdom.
“For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.”
James 3:16-17 ESV
I don’t know about you, but those traits listed seem like exemplary communication skills. I think about how I feel when others talk to me in that way; open to reason and sincere. I think about how my children react to me when I speak gently and full of mercy.
No human may be able to tame the tongue, but Jesus can. And, sister, He has given us enough grace and mercy to keep trying to end the war of the words with every morning sunrise.
The stone is in your hand. Will you toss the pebble gently, or let it sink hard and fast?
Lord, thank you so much for your amazing grace. How I praise you for the way you unconditionally love us, God, dying for us while we were still sinners. Forgive us, Father, for the way we speak to you and to those you love. Give us strength in the mighty name of Jesus to use our words wisely, ultimately giving all the glory to you. We love you, and we lift up our lives to you. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
